There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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