Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize