So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize