i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
