he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
