She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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