thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize