I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
