So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
No subtext here. People are naked.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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