i think my tv is drunk
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
