never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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