I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
