Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
