But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
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