That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
