Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm just crazy horny about you
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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