Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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