I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
