Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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