remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
