Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
