the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
