you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
