Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
