roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize