The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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