How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
