I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
