8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize