Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
