I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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