who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
