You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
