The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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