I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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