Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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