All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
