thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
