Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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