Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
