Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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