Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
