At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
