no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
