That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She's just so happy...and so naked.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize