at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
