yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
