It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
high people should be assigned attendants
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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