so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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