I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
