yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You may now shotgun with the bride
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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