so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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