You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize