their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
