the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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