it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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