The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
