Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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