Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
