there was a trapeze. enough said
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Randomize
