the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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