I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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