brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
